astray in worlds and words.

Category: Writing Page 1 of 3

New short story: In the Sea of Binary Stars

This month, I have a new short story out in Plott Hound Magazine Issue 2 – a very new and very exiting magazine all about animal POVs, which is one of my favorite genres, so I’m happy to contribute a marine story to it. It’s a tiny tale, but it touches on topics that are very close to me: animals and death. The things that brought it forward were a loss, of course, and the wonderful Playing Possum: How Animals Understand Death by Susana Monsó, a non-fiction book about comparative thanatology which investigates what animals could possibly know of death (spoiler: a lot!) Oh, and playing Spiritfarer, a premium piece of death fiction if there ever was one.

If you are comforted by the thought of the Rainbow Bridge (originally written in the late 1950s), by all means, take every bit of solace you can from it – it’s sweet and important and hey, who doesn’t want happiness forever for lost puppers?

Cover of Plott Hound Magazine #2, a collage of a dapper dog reading a newspaper.Alas, for me it always fell short. It’s as if we can’t imagine animals having a lot of agenda or deep inner lives, and therefore also no complexity for their possible afterlife. And since my heart beats for ocean biomes and marine life, I wrote of an ocean beyond, beyond the mouth of the River Lethe, and what it would mean to explore it.

I wanted “In the Sea of Binary Stars” to be somewhat open, too – anyone can imagine going to an ocean beyond, dream of swimming free in an endless sea, that’s not limited to certain species. But if you can’t guess and want to know who exactly I wrote this story for, whose little lives often slip away in no time, there’s a hint in my bio accompanying the story.

Thank you to Allison Thai of Plott Hound Magazine for giving “In the Sea of Binary Stars” a home, and to Jennifer Hudak and Aimee Ogden for being my first readers! And thank you, (potential) reader, for considering supporting the magazine. This might not be the last animal story I write, because at this point, why not accept that human POV is not for me?

“Forever the Forest” on Escape Pod

Can I write three posts about the same old story in a row? Turns out I can, at the risk of having written more words about this story than there are words in the story, but such is life. Who knows, in the age of social media decay, there might be more things to say in my own little space again soon.

The logo of the Escape Pod podcast: a speedy escape pod in purple spaceAnyway, if you’ve been waiting to read “Forever the Forest”, now is the time, because the lovely people at Escape Pod published it as a reprint, and it’s available to read or listen to over there (the latter with an amazing performance by narrator Hugo Jackson). You know you’re longing for green, lush woodlands stretching out forever (but are they really green? Trees have no eyes, so we don’t know, and while I was researching for this story I stumbled upon some interesting articles about potential colors for alien plants.)

Escape Pod had my story out on Christmas, so that’s a 2024 publication for me, yay! 2025 has just begun, and I don’t know if anything will happen, story-wise, but my one little weirdo I have written last year keeps raking in light-speed rejections, so probably not that one.

The Year’s Top Tales of Space and Time 4

I’m very happy to announce that not only am I still alive, but so is my short fiction! Last year’s “Forever the Forest” from Life Beyond Us got picked up for a reprint in The Year’s Top Tales of Space and Time 4, edited by Allan Kaster.

The Year's Top Tales of Space and Time 4, edited by Allan KasterThe Year’s Top Tales of Space and Time 4 is out now, so you’re able to feel rootless all over again while visiting the woodlands, plus a fine selection of 13 other stories. It’s a particular joy to share the ToC with Rich Larson’s “Heavy Lies” again – one of my absolute favorites from Life Beyond Us.
So if you find yourself in need of more short fiction, you know what to do.

After burn-out and other unpleasantnesses I’m also writing, still. Again. Always. Forever glacial. One story is out there looking for a good home right now (but it’s a strange one, so who knows …), and another one is slowly taking shape, and it may have a tail and claws, and it may be conlcusion-of-a-trilogy-shaped. We’ll see. Murky shapes under water, that’s how emerging stories always look to me, and most of the time the shapes are not what I imagined or desired when they finally become clear. But for now, they are moving!

New short story: Forever the Forest

My new story “Forever the Forest” is out in Life Beyond Us, an anthology edited by Julie Nováková, Lucas K. Law, and Susan Forest, published in cooperation with the European Astrobiology Institute. Every one of its 27 stories is paired with an essay diving deeper into the science behind the fiction.

I was immediately hooked by the idea! I grew up with Carl Sagan’s books, so being in this science outreach project means a lot to me. I also wanted to write my very own take on trees in space inspired by Silent Running (another thing I grew up with) and tap into my love for anything tree-ish, and here was my chance: I mixed up what I had read about NASA’s “Moon Trees” (1) and indigenous forest stewardship, namely “Helping forests walk” (2), and then I simply needed to tell it from the perspective of the trees.

Did I say “simply”? It was like wrestling with an Ent for every single word. Of course I’m not the first one to up take this challenge (I specifically like The Leaves of October by Don Sakers and the tree shapechanging sequence in The Riddle-Master of Hed by Patricia A. McKillip). It still felt like I needed to learn writing anew, because I wasn’t able to fall back on my senses of vision and hearing, my sense of time, and my perception of my body and its limits. But in the end, does it really matter if it’s another language or another mind I’m trying to relate to, with a whole different sensorium? Deep at my core, I’m a translator, and I try my best to translate different modes of inhabiting the world into a shared language, even if it feels like bouncing an image back and forth between funhouse mirrors. Sure, it’s bound to fail. But I aim to fail in a meaningful way.

So I kept asking: what is it like to be a forest? I used theories about mycorrhizal networks (3) to create a collective perception and wondered if the astronaut and the forest stood any chance of having some shared concepts to start a conversation. This is also where the wonderful companion piece “Astra Narrans” by Connor Martini begins its exploration and extrapolation of the core themes of the story in a way that transcends my humble attempts at establishing an understanding between the protagonists. If you want to learn how we can possibly communicate with any being that is not us, this essay is a splendid place to start.

Life Beyond Us cover

This whole project has been a delight to be part of from beginning to publication and beyond. Big thanks to Julie Nováková for having me in the first place & her tireless work to make this anthology shine in any possible way, and to Susan Forest and Lucas K. Law at Laksa Media for working out the kinks of the story and making the whole book look incredibly good, and to Connor Martini for his thoughtful, knowledgeable and entertaining essay about semiotics! (Plus a big thank you to the beta readers who always have my back: Sonia Focke, Jennifer Hudak, Elena Kotsiliti, and Ella Voss.)

You’ll find materials and where to buy the book here, and it will not only enable you to roam through my alien woodlands, but also a wide selection of other adventures set in our solar system and far beyond. If you are intrigued by “Forever the Forest”, I bet you’d also enjoy “Defective” by Peter Watts, “Heavy Lies” by Rich Larson, and “Cyclic Amplification, Meaning Family” by Bogi Takács. I’d love for you to listen in on all those Conversations!

1 see: Moon Trees Stand as Living Testaments to First Voyages to Moon & Moon Tree
2 see: Assisted migration of forests in North America
3 read about the current state of this research here: Do Trees Really Support Each Other through a Network of Fungi?

R.I.P. Terry K. Amthor

I learned only yesterday that the world of pen & paper role-playing, or rather the world of speculative fiction, has recently lost Terry K. Amthor. He has been one of my favorite creators and a strong influence. His work made me gaze upon science fiction with a fantasy mindset and vice versa, and opened my eyes to the wild possibilities the genre has to offer.

There are better places to read up on Terry’s long and significant history in rpgs, mostly with Iron Crown Enterprises (for example this interview). I’m not too much of a regular role-player myself, but of all the places I’ve adventured in, Shadow World is the one I keep coming back to. It’s a world of darkness, but also a rainbow of colors, a realm of high fantasy in the best sense, where everything is possible, or at least was possible once and left its imprint. And most of all it opens up room for the imagination to soar, and provides a lot of breathing space for the audience’s minds to work their own magic.

Detail-obsessed worldbuilding can be one of the duller aspects of speculative fiction, but while Terry was a true and dedicated worldbuilder, his creation always offered a fresh perspective. He worked on MERP earlier and was deeply immersed in Middle-earth, so the Tolkien influence is strongly visible on Shadow World, in its languages, in its myths bleeding into the present age, in the hierarchy of all things living. It transcended these roots, adding lots of powerful women, queer culture, and people of color not only in some “exotic” background settings. Many varied cultures exist in parallel, interweaving at points, and many forces shape this world. It started out distinctly 80s-flavored, but Some older Shadow World source bookshas always been more diverse in ways high fantasy (rpgs) at this time simply weren’t. And it has been developed to be ever more so, because Terry stayed, uncovering bits and pieces, telling the story, the multitude of histories and seeds and glimpses that made his world come alive.

Shadow World has constantly opened up my perception of what fantasy could be, has razed so many of the limits I once might have seen, and has never, ever failed to show me something wonderful. That’s why I felt I had to toast Randæ and Andraax yesterday, but I guess my favorite Loremaster of them all is Terry after all.

Life Beyond Us anthology

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/laksamedia/european-astrobiology-institute-presents-life-beyond-us

There are only few days left to crowdfund the Life Beyond Us anthology, organized by the European Astrobiology Institute and Canadian publisher Laksa Media. The anthology will not only feature 22 original science fiction stories, but also accompanying essays by scientists matched to them. And I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to contributing one of these stories and having the support of a scientist for research!

I’m already working on the concepts and themes of my story and can’t wait to start writing it. It’s still just blurry shapes in the mist (maybe quite literally!), but it might have an alien point of view character (surprise), show alienation by meeting humans, and debate our sense of curiosity and our interest in meeting others vs. the cost of our meddling. So let’s see how much of this will survive my awful writing process …

The Kickstarter updates are full of additional resources, including short interviews with many of the contributors. You can find mine here! Editor & organizer Julie Novakova did stellar work to prepare the campaign.

The icing on the cake, though, would be reaching the stretch goals. The anthology is already international, but the first stretch goals would unlock translated stories, with contributions from Lisa Jenny Krieg, Liu Yang, Jana Bianchi, and Renan Bernardo. I’d love to see all of these translated, because we need more sf in translation, and because from what I know we don’t want to miss these stories. I greatly enjoyed Jana Bianchi’s “Death is for Those Who Die” in Clarkesworld and want more, and I already love the not-yet-expanded version of “Ranya’s Crash” by Lisa Jenny Krieg (if you read German, you can find it here as “Ranya stürzt ab”). If there’s even further funding, there will be open slots for submitting stories to the anthology!
Life Beyond Us cover
So, if you’re interested in strange forms of life, exploring other planets (or a fresh angle on our own), AND the science behind it all, this might be a project for you! And whether you choose to back it, spread the word, or are simply excited about this book — thank you!

Reading with Vital authors

I’ve been under the spell of converging deadlines, again. It happens regularly with my main client (mostly due to licencing issues). Imagine I spent the last weeks under a massive Lego brick; that’s very close to the truth. One of the few occasions I crawled out of my translation zombie state was when I was asked to join a reading with three authors of the Vital anthology, Congyun “Mu Ming” Gu, Sally Wiener Grotta, and Eric Schwitzgebel, and our shared editor RM Ambrose.

Plush reptile stand-in audience at online reading

The audience was fabulous!

So I found myself preparing for my first ever online reading, actually my first reading since sixth grade. It was a fun evening (noon break for others), perfectly organized by the wonderful Inlandia Institute, and I can’t wait to read everyone’s stories in the anthology. I really hope a lot of these online formats are here to stay – it’s an easy way for people all around the globe to participate in panels and readings!

I think I’m going to spend the weekend staring at a wall and internalising the translate-sleep-translate-cycle is over for now. But if you want to listen to me read from “Keloid Dreams”, the event is up on Youtube:

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New short story: Keloid Dreams

My new story “Keloid Dreams” is out in Future SF #8, a medical-themed issue published in September 2020. Read on if you’re interested in process and trivia, but beware, here be spoilers!

If you’d like to experience Carebot’s sensor input first and see to the patient’s wellbeing, please come along. And don’t forget to take a look at the other stories in this issue – I’m totally awed by the big ideas and scientific details my TOC mates came up with!



Future SF #8 coverFirst of all, phew! All my writing attempts since 2018 got shelved during first draft, and while people kept congratulating me on my last story, I plunged into a pitch-black hole. Then along came this healthcare prompt to yank me out of my comfort zone, with a tight deadline on top. And here we are, finished story! “Keloid Dreams” originated in thoughts about healthcare getting under your skin via implanted sensors, combined with the idea of robots caring for people. How would they become accepted, what would their humanizing features have to be so that you’d trust them with your parents?

I was planning to write about dementia first, about a patient losing himself, and a robot finding a personality, but the emotion-learning robot voice didn’t work for me. The refurbished warbot idea had been lurking from the beginning, and I truly hit my stride when I imagined the two veterans on a last mission together, despite the fallout of going to war.

Then it was a question of digging deeper. I connected bits and pieces to family history: my Dad, who was excluded from taking part in my life when I was ten. My Grandfather, who turned his back to fighting, but the whole story was obscured by the way German families don’t talk about their WWII past. On a lighter note, Overwatch inspired some details of the story, and if you played the game, you may find teeny-tiny easter-eggs and guess who my favorite character is. When I considered what Callas would do as a hobby, I settled on bird-feeding, partially because bird-feeding has gotten me through the worst of this pandemic. This decision made me pull one of my favorite graphic novels from the shelf, Enemy Ace: War Idyll by George Pratt, providing further inspiration.

My thanks go out to Ella Voss and Elena Kotsiliti who were lightning quick with their insights on very short notice, and Jennifer Hudak, who helped me make the story so much sleeker and more powerful. To firefighter/paramedic Meo, who was awesome at explaining complex physiological processes and effects (any bugger-ups are on the author’s side). And to my editor, RM Ambrose, who really got to the core of the story and helped me polish it. If you like his work for Future SF and feel the need to imagine the future of healthcare differently, consider backing his anthology Vital on Kickstarter, bringing you more stories soon!

Writing this piece of post-military SF has unlocked an achievement: true short story! I almost made it down to 5,000 words – and I’m in deep awe of people who truly master this and even shorter lengths!

Achievements remaining unlocked:
– write something that’s not 1st person
– write a story without reptiles (They’re invisible this time. Improved much?)
– write a story from the POV of an actual human.

Next time, maybe. Or maybe not. I have a roster of a dozen partially told stories, some mostly dead, some quite fresh, and some same old in a shiny new skin. Onwards!

Eugie Award

As promised, this bit of “news” gets an extra blog post, no matter how late I am: My novelette “When We Were Starless” is the winner of the 2019 Eugie Foster Memorial Award for Short Fiction.

This makes me incredibly happy, not only because I’m still having trouble believing my writing was nominated for awards, let alone won one! It’s an award celebrating short fiction (yay!), and it boasts an incredibly fine selection of finalists and winners in the five years of its existence. Previous winners are Catherynne M. Valente, N.K. Jemisin, and Fran Wilde, so I’m clearly the odd one out here. And on top of that, it’s awarded in the memory of a truly brilliant short fiction writer.

I can only recommend you go and check out current and former finalists, and read Eugie’s work, too, if you don’t know it yet.

Plaque of the 2019 Eugie AwardI deeply regret I wasn’t able to be in Atlanta for the award ceremony personally – financial and health issues upset my plans to go. I celebrated two times, though – once in the middle of the night when I discovered on Twitter that my story had won, and a second time when the beautiful plaque designed by Tangled Earth Arts came in the mail.

And don’t forget to look at this year’s finalists, too. (Yes, my bad, there’s already a new round, and they’re amazing!)

Things happened …

… and things didn’t happen.
Most amazing among the things that happened was the fact that my latest story resonated with readers and was nominated for awards, to my utter astonishment. “When We Were Starless” went on to be a finalist for the Hugo and Sturgeon Awards, and it won the Eugie Foster Memorial Award (which deserves an extra blog post, even if I’m horribly late). Yay! I mean, YAAAAAYYYYY! I still can’t believe that happened!

But the fact that my latest story was, and is, still my latest story also serves as a hint to the things that didn’t happen.
I started a few new things and stopped in the middle of the process because I didn’t like where they were going. Some others simply refused to go anywhere. I dropped into that big black hole that keeps opening and swallowing me whole. I usually retreat and hunker down with (translation) work then, but last year was not great for translations, at least from my point of view. So the hole gave me some trouble this time around. Anyway, this is where I am. I haven’t given up; it’s just that my brain didn’t put out a lot of useful stuff these past months.

But things happen even when we sit in holes, and I’m lucky enough to have wonderful friends who keep nudging even if I’m at my worst holed-up self, and so the future doesn’t look all bleak: right now, a really wonderful (and challenging) translation is waiting on my desk. Friends have written amazing stories (and sometimes books) I want to talk about. And I might have been talked into doing a thing or two myself, one of them coming up right at Halloween! Which is, in the amorphous ways of 2020 time both forever in the future and sneaking up on us in a week or so.

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